RESILIENCE

2011in review

• I graduated from college.
• I turned 25
• My Grandma overcame her illness after a year and a half of fighting.
• My Mom had 3 brain surgeries in a span of 3 months.
• I got a raise at work.
• I took the GRE.
• I spent a lot of time with my nephew— the one person in the entire world who I can truly say I love the MOST!
• I decided to apply to grad school.
• I lived through one of the worse wind storms to hit the city I live in.
• I applied for a job for the first time in 2 years.
• I went to Oregon for the first time.
• I found out I’m going to have a niece.
• I stopped being in love with the idea of someone who stopped caring about me a long time ago.
• I didn’t go to a single show (… sad…)
• I met two amazing friends.
• I realized the worse thing to do is listen to any negativity, whether it be from professors, peers, or people in the street.
• I learned the only thing that matters is I’m happpy doing what I’m doing as long as I’m not hurting anyone in the process.

2011 has been a trying year for me.  I have grown immensely in ways I could not have imagined.  I may not have stuck to my resolutions but life happens and I needed to tweak the plan.

So yes, there was a lot of self-loving and self-discovery and no, there was no journey to being insanely and inconveniently in love.  Am I happy about how things turned out? Yes and no.  Am I ready for 2011 to be over— HELL YES.

2011

1. Become healthier- exercise more, eat better, and drink more water.
2. Wear sunscreen at least 5/7 days.
3. Learn something important.
4. Put myself “out there” more. (This one is explained below)

I’ve been blogging for 8 years.  Damn, that is a long time.  Throughout my blog-life I’ve chronicled how I’ve grown and become the young woman who types these words.  I’ve strengthened the relationships that mean the most to me, learned how to study, got better grades due to the better study habits, landed a job that could have me set for life if I decided to settle, and along the way I have grown up.  I have loved, lost, hit rock bottom, and been on cloud 9.

But, the thing I yearn for most is the one thing I have yet to experience in my 24 years on Earth… the thing we aren’t supposed to talk about in fear of jinxing it… I’m gonna say it… are you ready? I want to be in love.  I can make excuses, point fingers, and blame a boat load of boys… but when it comes down to it:  I haven’t been in love because I haven’t let myself be loved.  Does that make sense?  I tell myself that I’m putting everything on the table, I’ve got all my cards showing, and the biggest lie of all, “I’m tearing my walls down.”  The truth is, the walls have been up and they’ve only been getting taller.  So, this year I’m going to put myself out there more, I’m tearing up the lists and I’m wiping my slate clean- the ideal man can’t be categorized, he must be experienced.

2011 is all about self-improvement and self-loving.

Last year I was this person. This year I am better because I did everything I set my mind to.